Thirty days after Whole30 and I am remembering how eating carbs and sugar just seems to beget more and more and more carbs and sugar… you think you are having an innocent piece of toast, but in truth you are opening your bloodstream and your brain to this idea that you could, at any time, have something delicious. That maybe you even deserve something delicious!

It started with Halloween. I tried to bake some pumpkin cinnamon rolls during the day – as a post-diet celebration – but there was something wrong with my yeast… like, it didn’t bubble, and then, lo and behold, the rolls did not rise. I was already in the kitchen making a royal mess, so I thought I’d bring a treat over to my friend’s party.

Enter: Pumpkin Cupcakes. Martha Stewart’s recipe, natch – she does a good cupcake.

I brought them straight over to the party right away like a good girl, and I only licked the spoon once. P.S. Last sentence, big fat lie. However, I succeeded in Not Coming Home With Any Cupcakes, so all’s well. Right?

… and then there were the biscuits.

I was making some dinner that was going to take too long and I was so so hungry, and wouldn’t some carbs sound nice? Don’t you actually DESERVE some carbs? I used recipe, touted as “The Recipe That Could Salvage Any Dinner for [Insert Male Dining Partner Here]. These biscuits pictured are, actually,  Janssen’s as well – mine were mostly square because I only made a half batch (Good Girl!) and I didn’t want to smoosh my dough around too much and I don’t own a biscuit cutter anyway.

P.S. They did, in fact, please my Male Dining Partner plenty. In fact the phrase “Aww, you made me carbs!” might have been uttered in my kitchen.

Then everything just went to hell.

It was a dark and stormy night. Well, I don’t remember that for sure, but there’s been a hurricane and a Nor’easter, so we’ll just run with it. I had made dinner – I’m sure it was delicious and relatively low carb and healthy. Completely delicious and satisfying.

An hour later, I was making THESE:

Cupcakes, biscuits, then hydrogenated oils stuffed in other hydrogenated oils.

Oh, the shame.

I started writing this post and had to stop myself from making pumpkin muffins.

It’s bad, friends. I shudder at the thought of holiday desserts season, I really do… I am going to come out the other side of December jittering and fat and covered with flour.