I am sad that you had to leave, and that I hope I didn’t make it too hard for you to go. Or too easy. I was aiming for something in the middle.

Anyway, I could really sit here and think about the reasons I will miss you all day, but here are just a few examples, to help you visualize how much you will be missed:

1. If I accidentally eat too many eggs and run out before I can buy more? No breakfast for me.

2. Never again will the words “So, there’s this lady whose blog I read…” leave my mouth. Really. Never! Who would I say that to, other than you?

3. I am back in the eating-brunch minority. My brunch intake will decrease dramatically. (Side note: why are 2/3 of my first examples breakfast-related? I have issues)

4. Bad things that will probably happen over the next 6 months: my library books will go overdue, I will lock myself out of the apartment more than once, Peach will meow sadly by her food dish during the day, I will have to go to bars with boys by myself.

5. Nobody will call the cops on the downstairs neighbors! Their late-night domestic disputes will go unpunished. Also, with fewer people around the house to eavesdrop, I will surely miss out on some of their choicier dialog, as will you! A highlight from last night’s discussion? “I can’t BELIEVE that I have allowed myself to be manipulated like this… BY A WOMAN!” And from today, “No, YOU’RE A FART-FACE!”

6. Additionally, nobody will believe that these quotes are real, other than you.

 

There are plus sides, too, I suppose. Peach now has her own room. She is currently sleeping in it – laying on a blanket, of course. And I’ve entered a phase of existence that feels much like what I do when I have a break-up: I suddenly realize how much time there is in a day. All the time spent hanging out and telling “so there’s this lady whose blog I read” stories has to go somewhere, I suppose, so I’ve been doing such things as A) going to bed even earlier (didn’t think it was possible, but hey!) B) forcing my boyfriend to have really long discussions about such comfortable topics such as religion (lucky Lance!), and C) going to the gym a lot. Yes, I realize you’ve been gone for like, 2 days, but believe me that all of those things have happened in 48 hours. If I can keep it up, maybe my life/relationship/waistline will be better, once I recover from my loss.

Maybe.

Probably not, but maybe.

But despite all of my bullshit, I hope that your move brings you joy and prosperity, I really do. Please move somewhere awesome so A) you will have a subsequently awesome life B) I can visit you all the time for vacations or C) I can force you to hire me at your library and move in with you against your will.

I really just wanted to tell you, though, how much fun I had these past few years, and that I am deeply worried I will never find another friend quite as awesome as you.

You will be a hard act to follow, so let’s just be friends forever, mkay?

Sincerely yours,

Your Roommate

P.S. Shout out to Faryle who, almost 3 years ago now, made this post possible. Forever grateful that you passed this lady off to me.