19. Being homeless for 5 hours means your favorite animal is homeless as well. Options include hunting for a cat babysitter (who doesn’t OWN a cat because your cat is mean and antisocial), leaving your cat in an potentially overheated car, or buying a cat leash and taking her to the park all day.
20. You will have to call Comcast, which is usually a lengthy, tedious experience. You will inevitably speak to the least informed customer service representatives employed by this corporation, including those with minimal communication skills and those who think that it is simply impossible to install internet and cable before September 10th, no matter what.
You may also end up with a land line. For some reason.
21. If don’t buy proper groceries and only buy a case of beer, your snacks start to look a little strange.
Apple, chunk of cheese…. beer.
Peach, crackers…. beer.
Blueberry yogurt, tomato slices… beer.
But it’s Sam Summer, so you should really just roll with it.
And who said you had to pack sober, anyway?